There are two different types of men out there.
1) The most common type is the kind of guy who has specific failures in, let's say, interpersonal communication and appearance.
And now, beware!
2) There is another type of guys, that just fails across the board. I'm talking about humor, behavior, self confidence which apparently often results in big-headed jerks, unicity, charm,... You name it, they'll fail.
Apparently I'm a magnet for exactly those dreaded guys.
I have literally told everyone AND their mother this story. I have no clue why I haven't told you!
So here you go, but first you'll have to watch this. Or else you won't have a single clue of what I'm talking about!
So on with the story,...
A couple months ago, I was in deep need for some distraction. My dear friend Catalina proposed a party hosted by friends of her I didn't know.
WE WENT. WE ARRIVED. WE GOT HIT ON.
I started talking with this guy. It was the type of crazy casual conversation I often find myself having with total strangers. But then he got a little - let's say weird.
Naturally I backed up taking two steps. -He followed.
I took a another two steps backwards. -He took three.
Shortly there was no space left to back up. I was squished against the wall and maaan was he to close.
I was thinking of a nice way to unwind myself from this situation. Quite frankly, there is no!
Just imagine me saying: "Dude there is NO WAY I'll ever be drunk enough to have a conversation with you without constantly thinking - Seriously? ...WTF?- !"
That's when Jenna's video crossed my mind! I was perfectly fine with giving him the impression that I'm the strangest woman he has ever met. Hence, I was sold!
He took a zip of his drink. I saw my chance. I pulled the face!!!
The reactions she described all set in.
The surprise. The laughter. Even the sudden surprise when he realizes that the hot girl in the mini skirt in front of him just turned into the creepy chick from "The Ring".
I was too pleasantly surprised! I couldn't hold it back. It just burst out of me and I started laughing.
So he started laughing. I realized how fatal my reaction was, so I pulled it again.
He kept laughing. So I started laughing again.
And so on...
So, I lost the scary moment and ended up saying: "Dude I really gotta go and find this one friend who is supposed to be here...."
...of this story and the beginning of the next.
A couple weeks after my birthday I was, again, in deep need for some distraction, preferably including one of my female friends, a couple of cocktails and some "serious" boy-talk.
Hence, there was no escaping for my friend Nina whom I dragged to a casual beach bar. Tipsy-boys-talk, partly totally absurd, partly some what realistic and serious, topped of with a tiny bit of black humor and bad ass trash talk.
At least until we realized that two guys were watching us waiting for the "right" moment to come over. I guess they thought the "right" moment was when the object of desire realizes that they exist.
Dam. Dam. Dam. Daaaaaaa - Their feet went.
The dudes: "would you like to come sit with us?"
The chicks: "Naaaah...."
The dudes: " Are you sure? We're from the Netherlands and it's my homie's last night here..."
The chicks: "Oh! ....still NO! We are having a serious boy talk right now."
The dudes: "Well, would you like to have a guys opinion on it? I mean we're guys..."
The chicks: "No thanks."
The dudes: "Come sit with us when you're done!"
And off they went until....
Dam. Dam. Dam. Daaaaaaa - Their feet went AGAIN.
adding a *krrrrr -rrr* and a *klack* as they sat down snappily.
Oh dear! How can I make them leave and have fun while doing so.
Right! Nina and I have to do THE face!
Damn it! She doesn't know it. I'm on my own....
...and on my own I started laughing.
I pulled the psycho girlfriend laugh, the scary witch, the evil mass murderer and the dull laugh of a dude who thinks his looks are beyond breathtaking. I even pulled the hysterical laugh you'd imagine a 13teen old pubescent gossip girl doing while spreading new rumors about Justin Bieber.
Oh, I pulled them all and even more bizarre noises that could fall under the predicate 'laughing', for fifteen minutes straight!
If I didn't know myself, I would think that there must be something seriously wrong with me.
Even Nina looked at me with like a startled deer on a highway.
(Something inside of me is yelling: "don't go there! Don't go there!" But I'm going there...)
As a man, I would be horrified of combinations such as:
That psycho chick + sharp objects of any kind + my jewels
Something that might be worthwhile waisting one horny thought.
GOOOOSH! What's wrong with you men?
Ps: I hope I got the story telling right!
Are you rolling around on the floor with the stitch while pumping your arms and legs in the air?
'Cause I know for sure that I've never managed to tell the story quite right. As I was constantly hugging the floor, gasping for air ON MY OWN!
Happy to share the laughter!